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How to boost your emotional ability

来源:经济日报-中国经济网 September 16, 2019 10:37 Source: Economic Daily-China Economic Net

Before we delve into this issue, I want to explain what emotional capacity is. Emotional ability is the ability to deal with adversity, failure, criticism, change, and stress in a positive way. All of the above will put pressure on us in our lives. I find that being incomprehensible to stress or emotional stress will cause people a lot of confusion. In order to escape stress, they will choose to give up, lose their emotions or do something harmful to their health. However, a strong person can manage his emotions and overcome difficulties. This process enabled them to improve their abilities while further tapping their potential.

I know a lot of people with strong emotional abilities and have talked to them, and I will observe how they behave. Found the following seven conventions in them, if you can adopt them, it will help improve your own emotional ability.

1. A person with a strong heart will actively deal with his emotions

One of the first and most important things for a strong-hearted person is to take a positive approach in emotions. They never say, "That's how I feel. I can't help it." They will never be victims of emotion.

Researcher and professor M. Asch mentioned in her book "Applied Psychology": "Remember, action is the precursor of emotion." This sentence means that you can do something to Affect your mood. Maybe you can't completely control those emotions, but you can change them through your actions.

I'm not sure if I will become the "master of emotions", but I will always act to try to stop those destructive emotions.

What I do know is that everyone will encounter unexpected crit, be caught off guard by negative relationships, and be frustrated by unknown crit. Sometimes we want to ask why the world is so unfair. But only action can save us from our current adversity. All petitions, hopes, denials, crying, cursing, complaining, blame and waiting will only keep us in the mire of adversity. The faster we recover from emotional fluctuations and take action to move forward, the stronger our emotional control will become. Do we continue to work to control emotions, or do we continue to be controlled by emotions, and the choice is in our own hands.

2. A person with a strong heart won't waste time self-pity

At a recent meeting, I shared an opinion with several leaders that you cannot lead a good team while complaining. The same idea applies to success. You can't move on without complaining. Complaints of endless trouble and moving in the right direction cannot happen simultaneously. Former U.S. Navy SEAL player Eric Greitens wrote in his book Resilience:

We have to ignore many worries in life. But this does not mean that we must suppress, ignore or deny suffering. The intense pain requires us to face up. A hallmark of adaptive ability is learning to tell which pains deserve our attention and which do not. Paying attention to all the pain does not make us adaptable, that often only leads to complaining.

How to deal with difficulties and how to save yourself from regrets, everyone has their own way. In life, everyone faces a "bad place". When things do n’t go well, when there are obstacles in front of the road, how do we cope when we encounter injustice in life? When we find that “the ball is in a bad place”, what is the mentality? We let the bad place be destroyed Is it fighting spirit, or is it willing to accept the ball?

This reminds me of what I learned in my first Dale Carnegie course in junior high school. The teacher teaches us to ask ourselves a question-"what is the worst case?" If you dare to ask yourself this question and be fully prepared to accept the worst case, you can make a good "saving shot" ". If things are as bad as we expected, you can naturally cope. If things are not as bad as we expected, everything will be better

Toward development.

3. A strong person will not allow others to control their relationships

When I started my career as a leader, I thought that "effective" meant making everyone who worked with me happy. Because I have good skills in maintaining relationships, I am good at getting along with people and cheering them up when their mood is down. However, I am a flattering person, in other words, the actions of others control my life.

Until one day, what my mentor Elmer Towns told me caught my attention, saying: "John, often weaker people control relationships." He explained that, People with a strong heart usually have the ability to adapt to difficult relationships, while people with a weak heart do not or cannot do so.

These words are profound. If in a relationship, you are a party with strong emotional ability, but if you do not realize the motivation to promote the relationship, you will just follow each other's way. However, if you notice the dynamics of this relationship, you can choose to adapt to others passively, you can also choose to influence others with actions, or keep yourself away from others.

Economic Daily-China Economic Network from "Emotional Ability" Hunan Literature and Art Publishing House


(Responsible editor: Shi Lan)

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