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19 Thinking Fallacies That Fooled You

来源:经济日报-中国经济网 September 16, 2019 10:32 Source: Economic Daily-China Economic Net

"You don't need to control your thinking, as long as you don't control it."

-Dan Millman

Perhaps the most frightening lie is the thinking game that drags you in. Next, let's take a look at what thinking games panic uses to trick you. Horror wants you to believe that the false alarms received by your brain are real dangers, so try to drag you into thinking games that only harm one's self. Here are some of the more common thinking errors:

Fallacy 1: Judgment

Question: Of all the thinking games that scare you, I think judgement is the most harmful one. It has three specific forms: first, you judge that you have panic; second, you judge that you are slow to get better; third, you are ashamed of being frightened, even with your closest friends. I often encounter visitors who have concealed from their spouse or family that they are undergoing panic treatment.

Solution: From now on, stop self-judgment. Your fear is not your fault, it really isn't. You should know how to deal with panic? How is it possible? I am a trained professional clinical psychologist, I have used it for many years to crack! How can you know how to treat panic without a special education? Wait until someday Panic education is part of the school's health curriculum. The whole society has eliminated discrimination, and your shame will be completely eliminated.

Try the following exercises and learn to look at your emotions without judgment.

Close your eyes and imagine a huge movie screen in front of you. The screen is playing the picture you just woke up this morning. Fast forward 30 minutes to think about what you were doing, what you were thinking, and how you felt. Remember, like watching a movie and seeing it, the movie is on fire. You won't be scared to run out of the cinema. Watch, pay attention, but don't take it too seriously.

For example, after you wake up at 7 in the morning, try to describe your 1-day life like this: "I woke up and lay lazily on the bed; I made breakfast and tea at 7:30 and felt very relaxed; I was ready to go to work at 8 and felt a little bit After the description is completed, please pay attention to whether there should be "should" or "should not" in these sentences, and pay attention to the changes in your emotions in one day, so that even the strong emotions will transform and disappear.

Myth 2: make the worst expectations

Question: We all have this thought, "What if the situation gets worse?" Maybe you are already stressed and unable to cope with the worse situation; or you may have been calm but suddenly started thinking, "Now I It's good, but how long will it last? When is the next panic attack? "Panic likes your thinking the most, it's a living!

Solution: The next time you think about it, try to say to yourself: "I don't have the superpower to predict the future. Even if I do, I will predict a positive future. What if the situation improves?"

Remember: you are developing a new habit, which means that changing the response to frightened thinking will make you feel unnatural for a period of time. This is expected, just keep practicing. It takes a lot of practice to turn your new habit into second nature. When you suddenly find that you have n’t done what you used to do for a long time, your new habit is established.

Myth 3: focus on the negative

Question: Panic will automatically draw your attention to the negative side. Your inner dialogue is like this: "I have been anxious for 3 days this week, but I haven't gotten better! I don't have a respite, everyone pays attention By the time I started speaking, I was scared. "

The solution: The good news is that although fright will make you pay attention to the negative side, you don't have to stare at it all the time! Zoom out the picture to see the panorama, and ask yourself: "What is I doing well and good , Especially good? "

Myth 4: ignore the positives

Problem: When your time, attention, and energy are all taken by panic, it becomes more powerful. When panic strikes, we naturally pay attention to it, but we ca n’t keep it that way. The more you pay attention, the worse you will feel.

Solution: Take a step back and tell yourself: "Fright is only a part, and I have positive or neutral experiences at the moment." Then enumerate them in your head, and you will feel better.

Next time in panic, try this exercise:

Describe your surroundings in neutral or positive words. If you have breakfast in the kitchen, you can say: "I'm sitting at a wooden round table, on a cushioned chair, a slice of bread and some jam on a saucer, a pot of coffee on the stove, and a fruit next to the coffee pot Baskets filled with apples and bananas. The kitchen is blue, the cabinets are white, the kitchen utensils are stainless steel, and the floor is wooden. A ray of sunlight comes in through the blinds, and the cherry trees outside the window bloom. "Take a moment Observe your environment carefully and pay attention to how you feel after completing the exercises.

If there are people around you, you can say: "I'm meeting with Jack and Lisa, we are sitting at the cafe for business lunch, Jack talks about the latest merger case, Lisa talks about some strategies to protect the company, and Jack gives this To his thoughts. "You will find that within a few minutes, your attention will return from panic to the actual activity. After completing the exercise, watch for any positive effects on you.

Myth 5: All or No Thinking

Question: All or nothing thinking can increase your anxiety. This way of thinking will classify things into distinct categories, such as anxiety / non-anxiety, panic / calm. Of course, in the real world, anxiety and panic cannot be classified in such a strict category. In fact, not being completely anxious is not what you want, which may well mean that you are not completely alive.

Solution: Don't think of anxiety as a switch, think of it as a range. I encourage my visitors to describe their anxiety on a scale of 1-10, with 1 being the lowest. Try to score your anxiety 3 times a day for 1 week and pay attention to the changes in the value of the day.

When you have a little anxiety, it is actually reminding you that something needs your attention: phone calls, bills to pay, appointments to go to. When the anxiety value rises to a panic level, its function is to warn you that you must immediately apply the brakes to avoid a car accident and immediately avoid the oncoming vehicle. We rarely think of the benefits of anxiety. In fact, if you want to survive and operate in a complex world, you cannot do without anxiety. You can't get rid of it, and you don't want to really get rid of it. Learn to keep it out of control and make it helpful to you.

Myth 6: Disastrous Thinking

Question: Catastrophic thinking refers to turning an idea into the worst situation through a series of "in case". For example: "I feel a little anxious now. What if a panic attack occurs while shopping? What if I need to leave the scene quietly and quickly? I might faint in the mall, that would be too shameful. I still stay here At home, it will be a painful day. "

Solution: Did you notice it? The first thought was only a little anxious, but it turned out to be painful all day long. The truth is that you do not have the ability to predict the future, and the results you predict are unreliable. You say you are the exception? Well, then I wish you a lot of money by predicting the future! Try to catch your disastrous thinking and ask yourself what your initial troubles are usually not serious, and then treat you The response narrowed to a level that matched the initial worries.

Myth 7: I can't take it anymore

Question: Sometimes we have been fighting with something for a long time, we will feel tired and frustrated, we will become depressed and discouraged, it seems that we can't stand it anymore, and we don't want to continue fighting anymore. Although this feeling is normal, it is essentially equivalent to allowing anxiety and panic to take control of your life, which is how they win.

Solution: Don't raise the white flag, don't give up fighting! You can stand it. You've been here for so long, and now you have an action plan for managing anxiety and panic, see your strengths!

Fallacy 8: Accusations

Question: There are many forms of blame, blaming yourself and blaming others. In general, accusations are counterproductive.

The solution: Panic is not your fault, nor is it that you decide to panic, nor is it because you did something wrong and "scared" panic. It doesn't make sense to blame others, you can only change and strengthen yourself. This leads to the next thinking fallacy, the "fair" thinking fallacy of the universe.

Fallacy 9: The "fair" universe thinking fallacy

Problem: The world is unfair. It's not fair that you fight with terror all day and others are happy. The imbalance in the universe is a philosophical issue, and the expectation that "everything should be fair" is a thinking fallacy. Because we only focus on the unfairness that is bad for ourselves, but ignore the unfairness that is good for ourselves.

Solution: If you have this problem, try the following exercise.

Write down some inequities that are good for you, such as you have normal vision, hearing, athletic ability, rich knowledge or skills in a certain field, browse the list and pay attention to your feelings.

Myth 10: Mind Reading

Question: Mind-reading means that you think you know what others are thinking and inferring to you (often negative inferences). When you have an anxiety or panic attack, your inner conversation is like this: "Everyone will notice that I am panicking and think that I am weak and unable to manage my emotions!" "She will see my hands shaking, Probably don't want to date me again! "

Solution: Generally speaking, mind reading is very unreliable. First, the information you read out is often inaccurate; second, you forget a very important fact that others think mainly of their own problems; third, it is impossible for others to have a negative interpretation of you without Positive reading. Next time, remind yourself: "Others may not pay close attention to me, even if they are, they may be neutral or positive."

Fallacy 11: Overgeneralization

Question: Excessive generalization refers to the spread of an individual event to all situations, such as: "I had a panic attack when I was shopping last year, so I shouldn't go shopping alone or simply don't go to shopping malls and supermarkets."

Solution: The next time you over-generalize yourself, say to yourself: "It's just an individual event. Don't extend it. I will wait and see what happens."

Myth 12: personalization

Question: Personalization refers to the behavior of others as directly related to or response to yourself, such as: "He is frowning because he sees that I am nervous and my performance is bad." "She is not friendly because She saw that I was nervous. "

Solution: The truth is that most people's behaviors are based on their own personalities and experiences, and we don't have enough information to understand and draw accurate conclusions. Next time, try to say to yourself: "Their response is about themselves, not about me."

Myth 13: "should"

Question: "Should" refer to the rules of behavior that we have been instilled into since childhood. I should brush my teeth, I should take a bath every day, I should keep my promise, I should correct my mistakes ... When we try to apply these rigid rules to our emotional life, the problem arises: "I should not be anxious, I should control Emotions, I should stop feeling that way. "

Solution: Our emotional life does not follow these rules. Pay attention to and discard these "should". They are neither necessary nor conducive to our management of terror or anxiety. Next time, try to maintain a flexible and self-compassionate attitude.

Myth 14: labeling

Question: Labeling refers to labeling yourself negatively during a panic attack, such as "loser", "weak", "horrified", and the inner dialogue is like this: "I was frightened and could n’t get out of the door today, I really failed." I have never been more frightened than me. I can only get used to this feeling. "

Solution: Labeling is extremely destructive, because it is reprimanding and demeaning ourselves, weakening our ability to grow.

Myth 15: grass is green on the other side

Question: We all have this feeling.It seems that others are easier than us.

Solution: What appears to be effortless and natural is usually the result of years of habituation. Just like admiring the ballet master's dance, the movement is so natural and smooth, let us forget that it is the result of 10 or even 20 years of tempering! Don't be fooled by appearance, don't think it is really effortless. You can say "spells" or say affirmations every day and repeat positive statements to yourself.

such as:

Every day I learn to better control my anxiety.

As I practice new skills, a more peaceful life is coming towards me.

To stop panic attacks, I am learning to change my mind.

Myth 16: self-pity

Problem: Fighting anxiety and panic is too tiring! When we are exhausted, our thoughts get involved in a vicious circle, we start to pity ourselves and feel worse and more lonely. At this time, our inner dialogue was like this: "Why the unlucky person is me? It was all good at first. What did I do to end this way? So painful!"

Solution: Self-pity is toxic and short-sighted. Don't pity yourself, but sympathize with yourself. Treat yourself well and don't fall into the negative vortex of self-pity. The inner dialogue of self-compassion is this: "The anxiety really hurts me at this moment, but I know that if I don't give up the treatment, I will definitely get better."

Myth 17: Overthinking

Question: We have all experienced this. After we started thinking about something, we soon fell into a game of weighing its advantages and disadvantages, and even forgot why we thought of it at the beginning! Over-thinking led to delays and escapes. You think you are solving a problem, but you are actually thinking too much. It is important to learn to distinguish between the two.

Solution: Solving a problem means clearly defining your current or future situation or dilemma, finding possible solutions (Method 1, Method 2, Method 3, etc.), and choosing one of them to implement first. Excessive thinking does not clearly define the current problem, and the solution found is also vague and based on the "what if" situation. Since you can't clearly define the problem, you can't find a clear solution, so you can only go around in circles.

Myth 18: emotional reasoning

Question: Emotional reasoning is the use of emotion as evidence that something is true. Its psychological dialogue is like this: "Trying new things makes me feel bad, so I shouldn't try, it will be very bad anyway." "I'm so nervous, there must be something wrong!"

Solution: In fact, our inner wisdom is a combination of reasoning and intuition. Ask yourself, besides emotion, what other evidence can prove that it is true?

Fallacy 19: Immerse yourself in the past

Question: Suddenly, you start to remember the past, and the mistakes you made have tumbled in your head like a tide, inspiring strong regret, anger or sadness. I should do that, I should say so, hindsight makes everything clear. You have two options: one is to know yourself and the other is to blame yourself.

Solution: I think knowing yourself is a matter of winning all, and blame yourself is a matter of losing all. I am not saying that you should not be responsible for your actions. In my opinion, blame yourself is not responsible, it is just an irresponsible self-condemnation. And by knowing yourself, you may realize that you need to change or take responsibility. Know yourself and look at your behavior before you can make decisions that change the present and the future.

What kind of belief do you have about the past? Do you believe that "history is doomed to repeat"? Do you believe that the past is destiny or the starting point of today? If your beliefs bind you negatively to the past, please take a closer look at them . The past has passed and you cannot change, and the only value of looking at the past is redefining what it means today. If your past is filled with panic or anxiety, you will have a hard time imagining a future without them, but still try to imagine!

In my opinion, reviewing the past is to make your life today different, better, more fulfilling and more real. If you feel that something in the past is related to your anxiety today, reflect on how your past has affected your thinking and behavior today.

Ask yourself: Is your reaction today the same as in the past? Is this response still reasonable? How do you want to react today? What do you want to say to yourself to give up this outdated reaction? Allow yourself to redefine and allow yourself to forgive Any past mistakes, allow yourself to let go, allow yourself to experiment and experience different ways of being. Watch your feelings.

Economic Daily-China Economic Net

(Responsible editor: Shi Lan)

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